- Your villain must constantly laugh evilly. Everyone knows maniacal laughter is tied to evil intent. If someone around you laughs maniacally, you should probably hit them with a bus before they try to take over the world.
- Redeeming qualities are weak. Don’t give your villain any of them.
- Your villain should most definitely be a man. No one will take a female villain seriously.
- Give your villain some disposable, equally-evil minions that can’t aim for shit.
- Have him threaten to kill the hero 100,000 times.
- The best villains are the talkative ones. If your villain has an evil plan, he must describe it in intricate detail to the hero before proceeding with it.
- The best villains wear black, or very, very dark gray.
- Bonus if he also wears leather, spikes, skulls, or long capes.
- Give your villain a tragic past that will immediately justify all their murderous actions.
- Give them an accent. Everyone knows foreigners are evil.
- Make sure your villain has a lair in a dramatic location, such as a manor, deserted island, or volcano.
- Villains always lose. Every single time. Happy endings all around!
Hope you enjoyed this latest post, and stay tuned for more bad writing advice (and seriously, don’t hit anyone with a bus)! Until next week,
Haven’t had enough bad advice? Check out the other posts in this series: